My Life On the Farm as a King Cousin

The other night Erik was busy with school so I grabbed the remote and started channel surfing. There wasn't a whole lot on, but then I came across a classic, "Anne of Green Gables." It was starting in five minutes!  "I have to DVR this," I said as I was thinking of how I was going to cuddle up with my girls and introduce them to Anne with and "e" and the simple way of living that took place on Prince Edward Island. 

Erik quickly responded with,"Why?"

"What do you mean why? Because I love this movie. That's why!" I said with a "back-off" attitude. He was mocking me and ruining my feel good moment, he should know better than that by now. 

The truth is I want to live on Prince Edward Island. I want to be a King cousin and live in a simple but elegant home decorated with gorgeous frilly things. I want to wear fancy hats, dresses with lace and adorable leather boots with buttons up the side. There is a part of me that thinks there would be nothing greater than sitting on a big white front porch sipping on freshly squeezed lemonade, smelling the aroma of dinner from the kitchen window as I watch the children frolic in the island breeze. 

As my mind wonders the realist in me starts to come out and I start to think about the garden that's out back and how I'm going to have to tend that garden and grow those vegetables that are cooking in the kitchen. In the dirt. In the blazing hot sun. And how the dress I'm wearing is going to have to be washed after working in the garden. On a washboard. By hand. And how dirty the children are going to be after frolicking in the field and how they will need a bath. With water that I will have to boil. In a tub that I will have to fill. 

And let's not forget about Bessie the cow out back that has to be milked every morning at the crack of dawn. I'm not a morning person and getting up early to milk a cow sounds about as much fun as having my armpit hair plucked out one by one. I really don't think I'm up for that kind of commitment. 

I come to the conclusion that I really love my washer and dryer, my running hot water and the fact that I can drive in my car to the grocery store to buy bessie's milk. I will continue to dream of living on Prince Edward Island for all the positive reasons and then come back to reality when I realize I'm as cut out for farm life like Miss Piggy is for roller skates.

Even though I could never make it on a farm, I still allow a hint of my inner prairie-life to come out once an awhile. And when I say "hint" I might mean just a sliver of a hint. I might mean putting a few Pinterest ideas into action. Ones that are easy, don't require too much sewing and include all ingredients that I can find at my local grocery store! 

I am actually pretty proud of a recent discovery that makes me feel like I'm rolling up my sleeves and doing my part on the farm. I made my own laundry soap! I'm serious, I really did. It's easy, and it works! I'm hooked because this recipe requires no real skill at all, you just dump all the ingredients into a bucket. Also, it last forever, like six months or longer (we have nine people in our house). Everything you need to make it you can find at any grocery store. Here is the recipe I used. And it works awesome!

1 4 lb 12 oz box Borax 

1 4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda 

1  box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 55 oz 

3 bars of Fels-Naptha soap, found in the detergent isle 

2 small containers of Oxy Clean or store brand Oxy Clean 

1 container of laundry crystals (optional, but I love the added fragrance)

Directions: Grate the bars of Fels soap and then combine all ingredients!

I use 1/4 cup per load for our large front loader.

Here is a picture of what it looked like all said and done (before I added the crystals). Cool, huh?

The only thing that makes this next one somewhat prairie-like is that it involves pretty lace. I really don't think anyone on Prince Edward Island would approve of my new look. I would have all the townswoman gossiping about me and my ungodly ways the next time I ventured into town! 

At first I thought I was going to have to sew lace patches under my jeans, so I knew I was going to have to recruit my mom for that task. Then I realized, duh lace tights! I found them on Ebay. Seriously how cute is this? 

One of our favorite lines from Little House on the Prairie (I know, I'm mixing up shows here, but I also want to be Laura Ingalls!) is when Pa says, "There's nothing like a nice cup of coffee before bed." 

I couldn't do it Pa! Caffeine makes me crazy. I have realized that I function better off of caffeine. I have been off of it for a few months and I feel amazing. I don't wake up ready to bite someone that gets in between me and my coffee pot. My desire to be completely unproductive and take a nap every afternoon has ceased.  Here is a letter the girls wrote to me a week or so after I gave it up. 

It's really that noticeable!

I have a feeling this was not Ma or Pa's parenting style, but it pretty much sums up ours! 

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and here's to a wonderful New Year! I have a feeling 2013 is going to be great!

HUSBAND + DATE + ULTA = BAD IDEA

Going to Ulta with your husband is never a good idea. 

They just don't understand. 

They just don't get it.

"$19.99 for hairspray? Can't you find something cheaper?"

"No. I need this one."

I'm typically the "buy it and don't tell," type. But we live far away from stores big city folk take for granted. So on this particular night the opportunity became available for me to pick up some much needed essentials. One problem, I was on a date with my love. 

Ulta is right next door to a bike store. I thought, perfect, he can keep himself occupied with lots of things with wheels and he won't be lurking behind me as I look at all the awesome new products I just might need! 

I was in the hairspray isle and I heard it. "Linsey." What?! How could he be done that quickly? I thought I at least had twenty minutes. My basket isn't even that full yet. "Hi, babe, what happened, I thought you were checking out the bike store?" 

"Yup, I pretty much saw what they had to offer." 

"Oh."

Great, now I found myself shopping for overpriced hair essentials with my bald (by choice) husband. 

I was still good though, he was looking around and wasn't paying attention to the prices below the products... yet. I was doing my best to just move it along and not really bring up conversation about the task that was at hand. "So what was your favorite bike over there? What were you thinking for dinner? You look really handsome tonight!" I would of rather been self-absorbed with all the glorious concoctions in front of me and daydream of how they are going to make me look gorgeous, but now my priority in my present situation had changed. Distract the husband was on the forefront of my mind. 

Then I felt something change. His patience started to get the best of him. I'm sure his growling stomach wasn't helping the situation. He started to notice his surroundings in greater detail. I was seeing him start to stare at price tags. Oh goodness! Then I heard him from the next isle over, "What!? $64.99 for a curling iron?"

I stayed quiet. I didn't point out that, in fact, it wasn't a curling iron, and it actually was top of the line.  I held back the need to correct him for the sake of keeping my secret, a secret.  I also made sure the rest of my treasures where covering up that same curling iron waver he had noticed, so it wasn't obvious that it was in my basket.

Now he was curious. Now he wanted to know what I was buying. And now I knew it was time to go. 

What was I going to do with him at checkout?

He's too involved, he's too curious, I made a big mistake in taking as long as I did and letting his patience get the best of him. Now the cat was out of the bag. 

He had huge smirk on his face and he wasn't going to leave my side without seeing exactly what I was buying and how much I was spending. When he heard the total, he just laughed. He quietly turned around all dramatic like and let out the biggest noiseless laugh I have ever seen. 

"What is in that stuff that you would pay $33 for jar of it, whale tusks?"

I then unveiled to him the reality of the situation. "I've been doing this for years honey, I've just never taken you along."

"You can never get mad at me again for buying books."

"Deal."

My "In The Moment" Moments

Life would be such a disappointment if it always stayed the same. It's very comforting to know that life is always evolving, changing, and taking me by surprise. Yes, there are those things that stay constant; God's love, my morning coffee, and that fact that I'll always be a klutz. But most everything else could change at any given moment. I want to remember what this season looks like and so I'm going to start an "In the Moment" series. It's actually just a way of being able to post random facts about my life, that don't really have a home... and have it sound chic.

So here are a few of my, "In the Moment", moments.

* I have been seeing numbers consecutively and it's starting to freak me out... 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44. Sometimes I will do it every hour, three hours in a row. What the heck? At the wedding I shot on Friday I pulled my phone out to check the time and it said 11:11. I think I have a problem. Does this happen to anyone else?

* I am addicted to diet coke. It's terrible for me. I know this. The chemicals, the addictive properties, the fact that it hinders me from drinking what my body really needs; water. But I can't stop the madness.

* Socks do not belong on sleeping feet. Did that sound confusing? What I meant was I won't wear socks to bed. To a nap maybe, but never at night.  Claustrophobia will eventually attack my feet and I will wake up in a fury trying to rip them off. 

*  One time Erik fell asleep with his fingers in my tangled hair. He decided to turn over and take me with him. I screamed loudly and then slugged him. We are adventurous even when we are unconscious.

*  Matt's quote of the week:

He was picking his nose and Erik gave him the "You shouldn't be doing that!", glare. He asked, "Did you get it buddy?"

Matt's reply, "I couldn't, it's a fast one." Hahaha

*  The night after I do a wedding, I dream wedding. All. Night. Long. Erik said the other night I woke him up because I was talking in my sleep. Something about how all the groomsman were not standing in the right order.

*  Jalapeño string cheese! When you go to reach for your afternoon snack and you think to yourself, "I'm so bored of this simple white stick of cheese. I wish I had a little spice in my life." Remember this very small, but very powerful piece of information. Spice it up. Get crazy. Have two! 3:00 will never be the same!

* I like a clean house, but one odd thing about me is I don't make my bed. Something I didn't inherit from my mom, the bed-making queen! I will make it if it's your first time to my house, but that's all you get. Remember it how it was because you will never see it like that again, unless you happen to be over when another newcomer is visiting.

*  What is it about us parents and wanting our kids to have the same childhood experiences we did. Lucky Charms has to be one of the worst cereals in a, "start your kids out on the right foot, with good brain food," kinda way. But, we have to let them indulge in the delight of the charms, we have to let them taste the rainbow (oops, Skittles reference!); they are magically delicious after all. While the kids were sugaring up one early morning, Erik and I were reminiscing of the days when we would eat all the marshmallows first and then the rest just tasted like sugared cardboard. Ella pipes up, " You mean they had Lucky Charms all the way back then?" 

Oh my goodness, nothing like making you feel real old, real quick. "Yes dear, all the way back then!"

*  With all the advanced technology we have, why is there still a delay when two news reporters are talking to each other? Just sayin'.

*  This girl needs a vacation. I mean, like, really needs a vacation. With that said, I will never vacation here. Are you kidding me, sleep underwater? I love that God made all the fish an incredible home, but there is a reason he didn't give me the ability to breath underwater. I will let them enjoy their home in peace and quiet and will find myself a nice cabana on the beach, thank you very much! 

I talked a lot about sleeping, I think it's time for a nice bath and good night's sleep!

Feaking Out and Laughing Like Crazy

I have always said that one thing I wanted to strive for in parenting is to keep the lines of communication flowing between me and the kids. I want us to be able to talk about anything and everything. I want to be the one who explains the big life lessons, the hard questions, and the life changing decisions that come their way.

I was slapped in the face with one of these instances and I flat out panicked. OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS!!!!

All I have to say is that I am thankful for my husband. He is a rock star in this area and I give him all credit for handling it so perfectly! I have no idea how he just knows how to talk to his girls, I definitely took notes this time around!

Which brings us to the topic at hand, Abby's letter.

"Don't wear the cowboy belt any more or I will stop being your girlfriend, I will like you if you loose the cowboy stuff."

 "Please answer the questions I give you." (haha, a girl after my own heart).

The scratched out parts are the best, "I get sad when I here this crap, it's not a bad word."

"Meet me at the Swirly slide!"

"It's all about love!" (She totally stole that one from her sister).

I was so thankful when she decided to share this with us. She didn't have to and confirmed we must be doing something right... whew!!  For a few moments I was patting myself on the back for a job well done! Then I read the letter. The rest of the pats go to Erik.

After we read the letter alone we called Abby up to talk about it. I kept quiet most of the time. One, because I felt like I would burst out in laughter if I opened my mouth. And two, because I honestly didn't know what to say. Is this stage of life already happening? What the frick!? She's only eight for goodness sake. Was I into boys at her age? No.

She was so cute talking to us about the whole thing. A few times I had to look at the wall and hide my face behind a couch pillow so she wouldn't see me laughing. "Meet me at the swirly slide, "OH MY GOODNESS, BAHAHAHA!!! 

I hope next time I'll be the one playing it cool, but I do have to give this one to Erik!

No Gold Star For Me...Oops!

Sometimes you can find yourself walking away from a difficult situation and feel really good about it. You dealt with whatever life was throwing your way in a very mature fashion. You deserve a gold star, a pat-on-the-back, your name in lights! Most likely you thought through what you were going to say before you said it. Or, you learned your lesson from a previous incident and this time came out on top.

Maybe your toddler screamed in your face and instead of screaming back you held your cool, walked way, and then came back and dealt with it calmly. Maybe your husband left his shoes in the middle of the floor for the thousandth time and instead of nagging him again--knowing that it would only go in one ear and out the other--you gracefully put them away. Maybe a complete idiot cut you off on the highway and you kept your middle finger out of play. Again, all situations that award you a pat-on-the-back!

I have come to realize that I am a very reactionary person.
A) I don't like to be told what to do.
B) I typically have an opinion and it doesn't always come out nicely.
C) I can be a lot little dramatic.
D) There are stupid people out there.

To achieve the above mentioned reward, I have to work harder than most. If I am dealing with my husband I typically fail, and once a month I have a guaranteed 100% fail rate.

Let me explain with a recent example.

If you have read my blog for any length of time, you might know of my deep hatred for the mail. I can't stand it. And, for some reason I am the one dubbed to sort through it. It's a terrible arrangement, one that might actually be detrimental to my health! I'm not exactly sure how it's worked out this way, but my first guess is he just likes to irritate me and he enjoys seeing my eyes roll to the back of my head. It actually causes a little bit of sharp pain to shoot up the back of my neck...like I said, the stress caused by anger could be slowly killing me. "Erik, seriously you're killing your wife, SORT THE FRICKIN MAIL! Oh, and I love you."

Okay, back to the reason why I don't deserve a gold star.

So the other day, there it was...the stack of mail. Rather than let is sit there and pile up over days, I decided to go through it. I carefully sorted, because I have been known to throw away important bills, documents, money, etc... because I despise this position I've been forced into and it evokes an, "I don't care" attitude to exude out of me. I came across an envelope from T-mobile. It looked like a bill so I opened it. It wasn't a bill. It was a card carefully folded in a conspicuous fashion with a Visa symbol on it. I immediately started to flip out.

Why? You might ask.

Well, I was tricked. I thought I was opening up a bill and instead I was being told that I needed another credit card. "T-mobile is offering credit cards and telling me I need one?"(see point A above)

"A cellphone company offering credit cards? That's completely ridiculous!" (see point B above)

I pull the scissors out of my desk drawer and start mutilating the poor card. (see point C)

Erik is watching me do this, not surprised at all by what he is seeing and he calmly says, "did you read the information that the card was attached too?"

"No, I didn't read anything. I don't need to. We don't need another credit card!" He calmly picks up the paper the card came on, and reads the line... right next to that strip of attachement jelly, "Tips for using your T-Mobile Value Visa Prepaid Card."

"Linsey, I think that's our rebate for the cellphone purchase we made last month."

Oops. (see D above)

I then spent the next forty-five minutes of my morning trying to talk to a human at T-Mobile rebates...one does not exist.

We will be using our "T-Mobile Value Visa Prepaid Card" to order something online!

I think I completely rest my case for passing along my mail duties!

Nacho Libre At His Finest : Best Homemade Halloween Costume of All Time

If you have never seen the movie "Nacho Libre" you will not understand this post. If you have never seen the movie "Nacho Libre", go watch it now. After partaking of all the goodness, you will then have understanding of the crazy cuteness that lies below.

If you were to ask me what my boys are into, it's an easy answer... superheroes. You never know who you are going to run into around our house. 

A few months ago, I came across Matthew standing on the edge of our couch. He had the complete-focus face on.  He then began to lift his hands above his head like a diver ready to take the plunge; he bent his knees and then flew across the couch. This went on a few more times and I then realized this acrobatic move had purpose behind it. He wasn't just stretching his legs; he was in character.  I asked him, "Who are you today Matt?" In a very low voice with his chin pressed against his chest, making his answer that much more serious and genuine he replied, "I Nacho," he then proceeded to fly across the couch. If you've seen the movie you know the scene well. He had just indulged himself in a powerful eagle egg and was ready to jump into the waters below.

I would of never put Nacho in the superhero category, but Matty could not have chosen a more appropriate character to be obsessed with. He fits the mold perfectly! He is the perfect miniature embodiment of the famous wannabe Mexican wrestler.

And now, he REALLY is Nacho thanks to his amazing Nana! Matthew says (in his best Nacho voice), "you are the best!".

Nacho below has two faces, one with a stache and one without. The first photo shoot he didn't want to wear it. After staring at the DVD case for a ridiculous long time and watching the movie until it broke he decided it was time to go all in. 

Without further ado, the best Halloween costume of all time....

 "Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. Ezz for fun." 

"You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said, is MY favourite thing to do, every day!" 

"Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?" 

"I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast." 

"Do you remember when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse." 

"These are my recreation clothes." 

"Hey. Leggo my blouse."

"Ok... Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!"

 "I don't want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!"

"I'm not listening to you. You're crazy."

"When the fantasy has ended/and all the children are gone/Something good inside me/helps me to carry on/I ate some bugs/I ate some grass/I used my hand to wipe my tears/To kiss your mouth/I break my vows/no no no no no no way Jose/Unless you want to/Then we break our vows together." 

 "Eagle powers... come to me! Please!"

"There is no place for me in this world. I don't belong out there, and I don't belong in here. So I'm going out into the Wilderness. Probably, to die." 

"Thank you. I mean... they might have the appearance of riches, but beneath the clothes, we find a man... and beneath the man we find... his... nucleus." 

 "My life is good. Real good." 

That's a Cute Snake

I was away on a girls weekend and Erik had the kids. I never worry when he has them, even when he tells me all he wants to accomplish while I'm gone. He shows me his list of errands he plans to run with four kids in tow and I know he's got it. The truth is they listen to him. Sometimes is makes me upset thinking of how well they behave for him verses me, but it also makes me happy that my husband is a rockstar! He takes the kids to Costco and it results in strangers making comments to him like, "Gosh, you have very well behaved kids." All I get in those situations is sweaty armpits and the need to pop a few Advil...whatever!

So after a day of errands in Denver, the gang comes home to chill. I am sure wrestling matches, junk food and movies were on the agenda. Matthew these days has really taken to stiking close to Daddy. He wants to go everywhere and do everything Daddy does. We are potty training in our house...THE LAST KID!!!! Did I just say that? No more diapers? WHAT THE FRICK... IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!!

Erik got up to go to the bathroom and his "mini-me" followed as predicted. He usually just messes around in the bathroom dumping out a bottle of something, turning on the faucet, or flushing before it's needed; this time he was intrigued. He was curious. He wanted to figure out how this whole bathroom thing worked for guys. He started chatting with Erik about the day. In the midst of chatting he looked up for a quick glance, without missing a beat he said with a snicker in his voice, "Oh, that's a cute snake-butt," then went on his way.

When I got home on Sunday afternoon Matthew ran up to me for a big hug and says, "mommy, mommy I have a cute snake-butt like Daddy!"

Like I said I never worry when Erik has the kids. Not only are they safe and happy but they also learn valuable life lessons!

Our Loaf and Jug

What kind of title is that? ...What kind of name is that for a convenience store? It's the name for our convenience store! I laughed so hard the first time I read the sign. Seriously, Loaf-n-Jug!? You couldn't come up with something better than Loaf-n-Jug!? Well, its original, I'll give 'em that!

Now, I know the name is a little rough, but the Loaf-n-jug is very near and dear to our hearts. The Loaf-n-Jug, aka "The Bailey Mall" is the hang-out-spot, the happenin' place; it's where you will see your peeps!! It's a grocery store, a diner, a movie rental store, an ice cream parlor and a gas station; it has it all! The ten minutes it takes us to get to the Loaf-n-Jug is something I will always be thankful for!

Now let me explain it's amenities with some pictures:

movie rental

gas station

lumber yard

park

ice cream parlor

bank

hardware store

trendy boutique

bakery

diner

Its got it all!

You never have to be concerned with how you look when you go to the "mall". It doesn't matter if you wear two different shoes or wear your husbands shoes for that matter... it's a judge free zone. Make-up is not required, pajamas get a thumb's-up and a pony tail is standard (even for some of the gentlemen). There's a feeling of "we are all in this together" when you visit the good ol' L and J!

When my Aunt came to visit, she started something that has stuck in our house. Whenever she would refer to the Loaf-n-Jug she would call it something different, making her way through her list of words that go together. So now, we don't just call it the Loaf-n-Jug, but we call it by any two words that fit together with an "n" in the middle. Here are some examples!

Tids-n-bits

Fluff-n-fold

Kibbles-n-bits

Bread-n-butter

Toast-n-jam

Shuck-n-jive

Peas-n-carrots

Curds-n-whey

Please-n-thank you

Do you have any other name suggestions to add to our ongoing list?