Last but Not Least: Date Day With Mommy and Her Littlest

Relationships take work. The parent-child relationship is no exception, but I think it's one that can easily be forgotten about. I think we can sometimes forget that just like our other relationships our children need that individual bonding time as well, especially as they get older and are more independent.

With the busyness of life it's easy for me to just go about our routine. I forget to take the time to really see the blessing my kids are on a more intimate level. They're happy, fed, bathed and loved so it's easy to think everything is great. I'm around them constantly and interacting with them daily, so it's easy to assume that all their needs are being met. Sure, I'm with them all the time and I giggle at their cuteness all day long. But there is something so different about giving them that undivided attention that brings a whole different dynamic to our relationship. They feel special and significant. They feel like they are needed and that I care about them when I purposefully make time to be with them. 

Just like we need date nights with our spouses, we also need them with our children. Sometimes you don't even realize how bad you need a date with your spouse until your on it. I've said to Erik on many dates, "I remember now why I love you so much." It's because I'm able to just focus on him, on us for that time. We walk away from our time together with a relationship that is strengthened and refreshed. So too we need that time with our children to build a healthy relationship with them. They are growing and changing so quickly, it's so important to get that quality time in because before you know it they will be grown. 

When date-days happen the kids know that our time together is completely about them, so they really let their personalities shine.  Without the intimidation and distraction of their siblings they are able to just be themselves in an entirely different way. As their mom, I know them better then anyone but I always see something in them that I hadn't seen before. I cherish these precious times with them and I know they do too!

It was Matt's turn. He was the last one to have his date day for the year. I'm so glad I had him go last because I think he was really able to enjoy and understand how important this time was with Mommy was. He talks almost daily about our date together. "Member mom, when we had our date?" So cute! We spent the day at the Children's museum, then went to the mall for a little dinner and some shopping. No agenda, just me and him having fun! 

Matthew,

It feels like just yesterday you were crawling around the house in your diaper trying to keep up with your brother and sisters. Now I look at you and you are an independent little man. I am sad when I think about you getting older because I want to hold on to these days of you being my sweet baby a little longer. I cherish the times that you ask me to still carry you. You tuck your little arms down between us so your all snuggled in... something you've always done. It's becoming less frequent and I know one day soon it will be the last time you ask, so until that time I will treasure every single snuggle. I secretly like when you have a nightmare because you crawl into our bed and I get to hold you and comfort you... holding on to those baby moments a little longer.  But as much as I want to keep you as my baby I also know that God has big plans for you. I can see this amazing little person you are becoming and my heart is overjoyed. 

I pray that you grow into a man completely dedicated to God, always looking to Him. I pray that you would be a man of integrity and a man that is always putting others before yourself. You have a heart that wants to please others, use that to serve those around you. You love to share, use that to bless others. By seeking your savior first your life will be full of happiness and your days filled with joy. 

I feel so blessed to be your mommy and I can't wait to see the good things God has in store for you!

Love,

Mama (please don't ever stop calling me that).

He told me he just wanted a little alone time because his belly hurt. I think he just wanted to try out the cool seat he found on the back of the door. Just hanging out in the bathroom stall at the super fun children's museum full of awesome exhibits. (hahahaha)

Lots and lots of bubbles... such a fun room.

Loves to cook!

And dance!

Getting his groove on!

At the mall that night they had the strangest little attraction. These gaudy ride-on toys. They cost a ridiculous amount of money to bring happiness to your kid for five minutes, but they were too funny not to let Matt try. And it was his day after-all and he wanted to rid them so bad it was as if we were in line for the Dumbo ride at Disneyland. He's so animated in everything he does and it was so funny watching him. Especially when he shared his turn with this old dude!

Overcoming the I-Can't-Skate-Date

One of the greatest rewards in parenting is watching your child overcome something that they think they "can't do". I love to watch their determination replace their fears. I love to see the immense joy spread across their face when they finally get it; they took the fear and kicked it to the curb and wouldn't take "no" for an answer. 

Ella was next in line for a date-day with mommy. She was bursting with excitement the entire month. We were going rollerskating, and I was just as excited as her. I hadn't been rollerskating in years and I have a lot of memories associated with the roller rink; when I was a kid it was the place to be. Birthday parties, weekend outings, and many summer days were spent circling the the plastic coated floor. The disco ball would set the mood and Paula Abdul's top hits would blast the speakers. We would all stop to do the hokey-pokey and sing Happy Birthday to the kids in the middle of the floor... those were the days! It's fun reliving your own childhood memories through your kids!

The first time around the floor, Ella was ready to throw in the towel. Her demeanor went from, "this is the most exciting day of my life" to screaming out, "I can't do this!" Within five minutes of strapping on our skates she started to wonder what she had gotten herself into. We stopped and had a little heart-to-heart. When something in life is hard we just have to push through and not give up. We talked about hard-work, practice, and the patience you need when learning something new. We continued to circle the floor together with our hands tightly clasped. Each time around, we rejoiced over every tiny improvement.

We took a little break and watched as the other skaters circled the floor to Katy Perry's, "California Gurls". I was messing with my camera phone getting ready to capture some awesome phone pics when I noticed Ella wasn't beside me. I looked up and scanned the dark roller rink, half-way across the floor I spotted the green stripped shirt inching her way around. This tenacious little girl wasn't going to let a pair of roller skates get the best of her; she was going to overcome this thing and she wasn't going to give up. 

I was beaming from ear to ear with the joy only a mother could feel from seeing her child overcome fear and take it head on. I couldn't of been more proud of her in that moment. 

She got around to me and with a big smile on her face and asked, "Did you see me mom?"

It was a great day!!

Reel Big Fish and Vanilla Ice All in One Night

We love our date night in's...we really do. Especially when that is all we have the time, money, and energy for. But, when we get the chance to escape, you couldn't see two people more thrilled to leave...together...kidless!

A little history — Reel Big Fish has been the background music accompanying many of our memories. Ska was introduced to me by Erik and I have been smitten ever since. It might have a little to with the fact that I was falling in love while the heart-pumping music was playing from the cd player as we rode around in the 85' gray Honda hatchback. It was probably his tactic all along. Play music that's going to get her heart racing and get the girl to instantly fall in love with you. 

Hmmm...oh well, if it worked, it worked! I love the guy and I love the music!

Skank- a steady-paced dance performed to reggae music, characterized by rhythmically bending forward, raising the knees, and extending the hands palms-downward.  

If you think you can't dance, then just start listening to ska and pick-up skanking. Anyone can dance... well, skank at least. 

So, we heard Reel Big Fish was coming to Denver and it was a no-brainer. We had to go. We booked a babysitter a few months in advance and purchased our tickets. 

It is so great to go on a date that doesn't consist of dinner and a movie. Don't get me wrong, I love dinner and a movie, but it's so nice to mix it up once an awhile. 

So, here we are in a topless Jeep on a beautiful night. The wind is in our hair, well mine, and the music is blasting. What are we listening to? You would think ska by the nature of this post. Nope. I am all of a sudden being serenaded by my guy who is singing to every word of Vanilla Ice's song, "Ice, Ice Baby". Sounds sexy doesn't it? 

Listening to ska on the way to a ska concert is not a requirement. Apparently. I will have to agree with you though, I can't say many other people attending the Reel Big Fish concert would have Vanilla Ice playing from their speakers on the way there. But, it's all good!

Here's to concert date nights and keeping the memory alive! Yo Vanilla! Kick it one time Boyee!!

Hand Modeling, Date Night & Mega Mind

Date night is a state of mind.

Sure, it's fantastic to hire a babysitter, leave the house and explore the world out there without four needy children in tow. Actually, I think it's a must for all parents! But, if you are like us and have been taking advantage of this wonderful concept of leaving your children with a responsible teenager a little to often, then you know it adds up quick. After the monthly tally of nights out starts to get high and we realize how much we have spent, we don't give up on our time alone, we get creative! We are selfish. Date night out isn't enough. We also like to have a few date night in's.

Like I said, date night is a state of mind!

We are blessed to have a wonderful downstairs area in our house that allows us to say phrases like, "You're driving me crazy, everyone downstairs. Now!" Phrases like that tend to leave my mouth between the hairy hours of 4 and 6. All you parents know of the "hairy hours." Why the heck is everyone in such a horrible mood between the hours of 4 and 6?

"You had a nap, I gave you a snack, you have more toys to play with than you should, and the darn t.v. is on. What is your problem? Snap out of it!"

So after a loud (okay screaming level), "Enough. Get downstairs. I can't take it anymore!" I quickly follow it with a quiet, sweet, soft sing-song voice saying something like, "you will have fun using your imagination! I'll call you up as soon as dinner is ready, love you! " I'm hoping that the later phrase will be the one that sticks in their mind years down the road and not the former freaked out mom yelling in her high-octave voice. The odds are they are bound to remember a few, but best to limit them as much as possible!

Saturday was going great. Beautiful weather, relaxing, enjoyable. We got a late start, which we love. Slept in, had a nice big breakfast and then headed to Denver. We had some errands to run, but more than anything it was nice to get out. It was nice for about three hours. Then the kids were getting antsy, tired, hungry. They began fighting, yelling, hitting, and protesting about being in their seats any longer. After they got over their frustration caused by being shut up in the car for hours on end, they decided it would be a good idea to unite together in song. On the third round of jingle bells, Erik and I looked at each other and said, "date night!"

After that, it was very easy to drown out the noise in the backseat. We were focused on the night that was ahead. We started planning! Elaborate steak dinner that we would prepare together in peace and quiet. Dessert. Movie. Wine. The perfect night in!

We break the news to the kids. We go about it in a very manipulative enthusiastic way. "Guess what kids, you get to have a movie night! We are going to buy you a new movie, you get to have pizza and popcorn and your very own bottle of juice!"

We understand that the years of excitement over this kind of party are soon coming to an end. A bottle of juice will get us the "are you kidding me," look. And we will no longer be able to get off that cheap.

Making water the only drinking option in our house is not only for health purposes. It's so we have a bribe in our pockets at all times. We are very aware of sugar's highly addictive properties and in certain situations it lends itself to some amazing benefits. "Juice, juice, who wants juice? Okay then, but you have to stay in the basement the whole night!"

The popcorn was popped, the movie went on, the rules of the night were implemented and the gate went up!

For those of you that want to judge us right now, you might be in need of a date night!

They have food, shelter, bathroom facilities, entertainment and a fierce guard dog. We have no guilt.

Okay, so we were interrupted a few times during our date, but again it's a state of mind. We quickly tended to the need and then pretended like it never happened.

Just because I don't love to cook doesn't mean I can't. Cooking all a sudden becomes a fun, exciting, joyous adventure instead of daunting task.

Yes, we cooked enough food to feed an army. We were excited. We went a little overboard.

The stuffing for the mushrooms

My favorite way to eat broccoli, roasted!

Extra garlicky

Ceaser salad

Juicy, fatty, amazing steak

One of the things I really dislike is cutting onions. It's just painful. But, I came up with a solution. I keep these babies in my knife drawer.

I know it's geeky

But, it totally works. See, no tears!

Date night is always an option if you get creative!

Love Story Part II

Our story continued....

After lunch we headed to the park across the street.   At this point much flirting was going on and the butterflies were swarming.  I remember this scene like something out of a movie. Mushy. Romantic. Giddy love.

We went to the swings first and then made our away around the playground equipment,  being silly and shy at the same time.   A picnic table that sat under a tree, was our last stop.  We sat across from each other.  He asked if he could hold my hand.  So there we sat talking, while we held hands for the first time.

We talked for awhile and then he said the famous words that will always play in my head, "do you want me to keep talking, or can I shut up and kiss you?"

I had never kissed a boy before and this request came out of nowhere.  I recoiled my hands from his and then laid my head on the picnic table.  I started saying, "nervous, nervous," like some idiot.  I didn't know what to do.  He asked me why I was so nervous and so I told him that I had never kissed a boy before.  He said, "it's easy."

Then, just like in the movies, we kissed for the first time.  It was all fireworks, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was time to get me back before school ended because my mom was picking me up that day.  I had to be at our meeting spot on time.   We held hands as we walked back to the car, and the whole way as we drove back to school.

We didn't have any official, "will you go out with me" discussion, it just all started with that kiss. From that moment on, we were together.  The date was October 30th, 1997 and we married on October 30th, 1999, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was in such a fog, I sort of didn't know what had happened that day.  That morning I was just excited because I was finally going to lunch with him, after waiting so long for him to ask me.  Now, talk about fast forward mode! He might of played it cool and waited two weeks to ask me to lunch, but he sure made up for that time in a matter of minutes.  That night I was able to sort it all out.  I had a boyfriend.  Now how to tell my mom! We did have this sort of rule that I wasn't to date until I was 16.  I had just turned 15 that month.   I waited a few weeks and for the right moment.  I invited Erik over and she to was instantly smitten.  She loved him!

Now, talk about making up for any time lost, a few weeks into going out Erik tells me about his dream.  We are driving in the Honda one night, after a birthday gig his band had played at, he tells me that I am the girl he is going to marry.  It's a good thing that I don't really get shocked with those kind of statements.  I just said, "oh, okay." It didn't take long for me to also feel the same way.  A few weeks later, I knew we would be together forever!

We filled up the next two years with church, graduation for Erik, band practice, gigs, movies, dinners, morning worship, coffee, a trip to San Francisco, school of ministry, ski trips, tcby, counselors at camp, trips to the coast, birthdays, family gatherings, Christmas in the mountains with his family, fishing, camping, Starbucks, Barnes N Nobles, Applebees, prom, Santa Cruz boardwalk, fights, mexico, long talks in the Honda, key lime pie at Red Lobster, dates in Ashland, concerts, mini golf, planning a wedding and of course kissing!

Sorry for the glue gunk all over these, they were in a scrapbook!

I was in the third quarter of my junior year of high school,  Erik was in Mexico with his school of ministry, and I felt the need to be done.  I went to my parents with the idea of finishing school early by getting my GED.  They thought about it and decided that if that is what I wanted, they would support me in it.  They knew me and knew that I wouldn't make a hasty decision.  It was heavy on my heart to be done, I can't explain it.  It took some effort to get me out of school.  I was a straight A student and so we had to persuade a few teachers, including my student counselor, that I was making the right decision.

It was a Thursday, my last day of school.  I turned in my assignments, that were due, along with my textbook for that class.  I said something along the lines of, "this will be my last day of school, here is my assignment for the week and here is my book."  Many of my teachers just looked at me and didn't quite understand.  Over the next two weeks, I studied for the GED test.  That next week I passed it, I was done with high school at 16, so weird!

A few months later,  Erik and I were having coffee and talking about our future.  It hit us both at the same time, why are we waiting?  He was still living at the church, finishing out his year at the school of ministry.  God had already been preparing his heart and mine for this conversation we were having.  He had a whole journal entry dedicated to it.  So he went to talk with my parents that next weekend.  He shared with them what God had been showing him and read them his journal entry. They really were left thinking, there doesn't seem to be a reason to say no!  He left my house that night with their blessing.

Because we both are not big secret keepers or big gift givers, the proposal was somewhat staged. What I mean is, I knew it was coming.  He asked me one afternoon, "so should I propose to you today?" I said, "sure!"  So we reenacted our first date.  He got down on one knee at the picnic table we first kissed at.  I thought it was perfect!

So we started to announce it to everyone and reserved the church. October 30th happened to fall on a Saturday and the church was available, again, perfect!  A few weeks after my 17th birthday I would be Mrs. Wilt.  We went with my parents a few days before the wedding so they could officially sign me away and allow me to get married.

We were married by a young pastor and friend. He was 19 at the time and he got ordained for our wedding. We still talk about how thankful we are that he was the one to marry us. A perfect fit. Thank you Tyler and Haley for being there for us and helping us start our life together!

So lots of people were talking, so fun to make people talk!  Some thought I was pregnant, lots thought I was making a huge mistake. Some probably even thought I belonged to some cult, oh, too funny. But the thing is, it didn't matter what others were saying or what others thought, we knew we were making the right decision. God was leading us. Everything was coming together in His perfect timing. We might of looked foolish to the world around us, but we don't live for this world!

We traveled moved across the country for our honeymoon.  At that time gas was .99 a gallon, can you believe it?  We took showers at the truck stops, slept in our Honda, and made it to N.Y. in four and a half days. Those are memories I will cherish forever. It doesn't matter where you are, just who you are with! But, we are still waiting to go on our honeymoon redo vacation. It will happen someday!

I can't believe it has been 11 years!
And against all odds. Two firstborns, that got married way too young.

Thank you to my friend Heather for taking all my munchkins for the night so we could get away and celebrate.  We stayed at a beautiful hotel downtown, we went to Dave and Busters and we strolled the streets of Denver.  Downtown Denver is a very interesting place to be on Halloween weekend, good times!

The only pictures I have of the weekend are from Dave and Busters photo booths!

I won big, like three jackpots!  I have been telling Erik that he needs to take me to vegas, winning is in my blood!

We had enough tickets to get four Dave and Busters glasses.  That's a lot of tickets.  These four beautiful glasses, in the end, only cost us around $40.00. Now that's a rip-off steal!  But, really you can't put a price on fun and that night was lots of fun! Especially winning 603 tickets on one play!

Yeah, I know, you're jealous!

I know this post is super long, but I will leave you with a funny story.  When we moved to New York we only had one car, so we both got jobs at the mall to make it work.  The N.Y. state law, at the time, didn't allow anyone under the age of 18 to drive past 9 p.m., without parental consent.  The DMV made me drive with a parental permission slip, signed by Erik.  It didn't matter that I was married, he was my legal guardian until I turned 18!

Link to Part 1