Halloween Nostalgia

A past post I did on Halloween popped up today in my news-feed and that lead me on nostalgic journey of Halloweens past. Man, time is a crazy thing. I can't stop smiling as I sift through images of my babies with cherub cheeks and baby grins, while at the same time tearing up from time gone by.

Wouldn't it be such an amazing thing to be given the opportunity to go back in time for a day? You would get to be you in that present time, but with the future knowledge you have now. Trippy! It would be so hard to choose, but I think I would go back to just an ordinary day at home when the kids were ages: Matt 2, Jon 3, Ella 4 and Abby 6. This was such a sweet time. Our family was complete and we were in a groove. What a gift it would be to go back and squeeze them and munch on their cheeks. There might only be one problem, I might not stop crying the whole time!

I decided to keep the nostalgia going and round up all the images from Halloweens past, so they could be in one place. Now I can scroll through the years gone by smiling and crying at the same time.

Two years in a row I didn't get a group picture, I could kick myself. Oh well, what are you going to do? These were some crazy years, I'll give myself some grace... collages will have to do. 

Quick Five Year Re-cap: "What was that all about?!"

I thought it would be good to get caught up. What's gone on these past five years?

Sometimes it feels like this

Since we last met:

We sold the Gypsy Cafe in Bailey, CO.

We sold our house in the mountains. My parents moved to Denver and we bought a house in Littleton, CO.

We re-homed Luke (our boarder collie) because of health issues, cried our eyes out and went and picked him up first thing the next morning.

We decided to travel on the road full-time and sold everything.

We traveled the United States (and a bit of Canada) for 6 months. It was an amazing experience and one we still crave from time to time.

We survived a major accident at the end of our 6 months on the road and moved to Oregon, the town Erik and I grew up in. We re-bought everything we sold.

We've built a successful business.

We've moved five times.

I worked on a few personal photography projects.

We went through therapy to overcome the trauma of the accident (we were a mess), which ended up helping me overcome a lot of hidden crap. Life changer! It's too much to mention here, but I see a future blog post going into more detail.

Erik and I have both gone through topical steroid withdrawal (I might go into my personal journey in a later post, but for those interested now, here is what it is: http://itsan.org/).

The kids have all become pre-teen/teenagers.

We've brushed our teeth approximately 4380 times.

We've spent a collective 7110 hrs eating.

We've vacationed, made life-long new friends, re-connected with old friends, grown closer as a couple and a family and have defined even more what's important to us in life. We've laughed a ton, cried a ton, failed, succeeded, experienced and dreamed.

Oregon has been a great experience, but a new chapter is in front of us...

Where are we heading next?

Resurrected

It's been almost five years since I posted. I can't believe it, time is such a crazy thing.

A lot has happened in five years.

I decided to resurrect this blog and document our lives again. I keep getting Facebook notices of past blog posts and I realized how much I treasure those posts. I don't have a great memory (maybe I'll get into that in a later post) so I truly treasure being able to read back over those precious days with my babies, that are now teenagers... what! I want to remember these days too. In less than five years they are going to start leaving the nest. Accckkkk!! I can't process that right now...

So even though reading back over my past blogs makes me cringe at times, because of bad grammar, poor spelling and a ton of run on sentences. I don't care. I'm older now and I'm caring a whole lot less about what people think, gosh that's freeing! If you don't mind dealing with those flaws, I'd love for you to join me in digging this blog out of the grave and putting some life back into it. Fitting that it's right before Halloween (oh yeah, and you'll also have to put up with my cheesy references and jokes that won't always make sense!)

What you can expect from me:
- Sporadic posting (can't commit to a schedule right now).
- Guest posts from the hubby (I haven't told him yet but he encouraged me to start this blog again, so...).
- Transparency, it's my thing.
- A fun time, because that's what we do best!

And photos...

Last but Not Least: Date Day With Mommy and Her Littlest

Relationships take work. The parent-child relationship is no exception, but I think it's one that can easily be forgotten about. I think we can sometimes forget that just like our other relationships our children need that individual bonding time as well, especially as they get older and are more independent.

With the busyness of life it's easy for me to just go about our routine. I forget to take the time to really see the blessing my kids are on a more intimate level. They're happy, fed, bathed and loved so it's easy to think everything is great. I'm around them constantly and interacting with them daily, so it's easy to assume that all their needs are being met. Sure, I'm with them all the time and I giggle at their cuteness all day long. But there is something so different about giving them that undivided attention that brings a whole different dynamic to our relationship. They feel special and significant. They feel like they are needed and that I care about them when I purposefully make time to be with them. 

Just like we need date nights with our spouses, we also need them with our children. Sometimes you don't even realize how bad you need a date with your spouse until your on it. I've said to Erik on many dates, "I remember now why I love you so much." It's because I'm able to just focus on him, on us for that time. We walk away from our time together with a relationship that is strengthened and refreshed. So too we need that time with our children to build a healthy relationship with them. They are growing and changing so quickly, it's so important to get that quality time in because before you know it they will be grown. 

When date-days happen the kids know that our time together is completely about them, so they really let their personalities shine.  Without the intimidation and distraction of their siblings they are able to just be themselves in an entirely different way. As their mom, I know them better then anyone but I always see something in them that I hadn't seen before. I cherish these precious times with them and I know they do too!

It was Matt's turn. He was the last one to have his date day for the year. I'm so glad I had him go last because I think he was really able to enjoy and understand how important this time was with Mommy was. He talks almost daily about our date together. "Member mom, when we had our date?" So cute! We spent the day at the Children's museum, then went to the mall for a little dinner and some shopping. No agenda, just me and him having fun! 

Matthew,

It feels like just yesterday you were crawling around the house in your diaper trying to keep up with your brother and sisters. Now I look at you and you are an independent little man. I am sad when I think about you getting older because I want to hold on to these days of you being my sweet baby a little longer. I cherish the times that you ask me to still carry you. You tuck your little arms down between us so your all snuggled in... something you've always done. It's becoming less frequent and I know one day soon it will be the last time you ask, so until that time I will treasure every single snuggle. I secretly like when you have a nightmare because you crawl into our bed and I get to hold you and comfort you... holding on to those baby moments a little longer.  But as much as I want to keep you as my baby I also know that God has big plans for you. I can see this amazing little person you are becoming and my heart is overjoyed. 

I pray that you grow into a man completely dedicated to God, always looking to Him. I pray that you would be a man of integrity and a man that is always putting others before yourself. You have a heart that wants to please others, use that to serve those around you. You love to share, use that to bless others. By seeking your savior first your life will be full of happiness and your days filled with joy. 

I feel so blessed to be your mommy and I can't wait to see the good things God has in store for you!

Love,

Mama (please don't ever stop calling me that).

He told me he just wanted a little alone time because his belly hurt. I think he just wanted to try out the cool seat he found on the back of the door. Just hanging out in the bathroom stall at the super fun children's museum full of awesome exhibits. (hahahaha)

Lots and lots of bubbles... such a fun room.

Loves to cook!

And dance!

Getting his groove on!

At the mall that night they had the strangest little attraction. These gaudy ride-on toys. They cost a ridiculous amount of money to bring happiness to your kid for five minutes, but they were too funny not to let Matt try. And it was his day after-all and he wanted to rid them so bad it was as if we were in line for the Dumbo ride at Disneyland. He's so animated in everything he does and it was so funny watching him. Especially when he shared his turn with this old dude!

Freezing a Moment In Time

You know those moments that arise as a mom where everything falls together perfectly? Those moments when all the hard work, tantrums, and spilled-milk don't exist? It seems that all the stars are aligning perfectly and you realize, it's all worth it...I had one of those this week.

The tears fell on my cheeks as I clicked away. They were all being so sweet and I was just taking in how precious they are... I was thankful that I was their Mom. I got a glimpse of their futures. I saw them as teenagers and my heart stopped, but when it started beating again I realized how much I'm enjoying them at every stage... at this stage. I wanted to freeze time, to capture this moment so I would never forget it. 

I was scrubbing toilets and Jonathan came in the bathroom and asked me to look at him. I looked up from the bowl and saw him dressed in his old black suit jacket he wore when he was a toddler. He says, "Look Mom, I'm in my handsome clothes."

I came out from the bathroom to find Ella in her princess dress and fancy shoes. Abby had dressed them both. It was time for, "Dance Lessons by Abby." Jon and Ella were the students.

Spotify played in the background and these two cut a rug. It was a whole bunch of precious moments that strung together creating a perfect memory!

I really needed this this week, it's been a tough one. Lots of fighting, screaming, and messes that could win records. 

I love these precious little people and I am so proud to be their mom.