Eighteen Years: What's Our Secret?

Today marks eighteen years of marriage. It seems like it has gone by in a blink and yet it also seems like we have been together forever. A lot has happened.

Yesterday evening we went on a family hike. It was a gorgeous fall evening, we hiked a path that overlooked the Rogue Valley. It was so nice being out in nature together, lots of room to stretch, breathe and explore freely. A big contrast to what we had experienced the night before. We confirmed our crew doesn't do well in small confined spaces as we attempted to tackle the "Escape Room." All chiefs, no Indians, trying to escape a small, dark, confined space, under the pressure of a ticking clock. Complete and utter chaos, which included tears, a lot of screaming and us realizing that if this was a true scenario, we would all be dead. If only we could have the video footage!

On our hike, we enjoyed watching our kids interact with each other. We were so proud as we watched them converse about various topics, laugh at each other's jokes and lean on one another when the path got steep. The boys would occasionally wrestle with each other, their way of communicating, "I love you." We might not do everything well, like rescue each other from sudden death, under pressure, in a false reality, but we know that no matter what happens in life we all have each others backs. We love each other deeply. They are products of us, our relationship. Not perfect, but passionate and committed. We don't have it all together, but together we have it all. If we've done one thing right, it's show them what it looks like to love.

We were nearing the end of our hike, Erik had been holding my hand the last quarter mile. Matt needed help with his shoe, so we stopped a second. When we started to walk again, Matt grabbed each of our hands individually and joined them back together. He said, "You know Mom, a lot of kids at school have parents that are divorced. But, that won't happen to you guys, because you love each other!"

They are watching us. They know what we have. They are just as into protecting it as we are!


I love this from The Message:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Our secret is that we don't have the option to give up. We committed from the beginning. At the young ages of 17 and 19, we knew the relationship we were stepping into was forever. When we fail, we still keep going. Always together. There is no option to give up, we have to figure it out. We challenge each other to become better. Loving each other more is our only option.. And so we do.