Making music

The other day I mentioned to Erik that he has not played his guitar in awhile. He has been working so much that he really has not had time. But this started up a conversation about how our kids are getting to the age that we need to start introducing them to the idea of music. Of course all the kids love music, but the idea of making music. He said he wanted to get them a drum set. My response was, well okay but what room are we going to put it in so that we can lock the door. Don't get me wrong I want to give my kids the opportunity to learn music. I would love to be the house that they could come to with their little band and practice, but also I don't want to loose my sanity!!

We learned early on in our marriage that I am tone deaf, so I am hoping that our kids get his music ability and not my lack of!!!

So the search on craigslist for the drum set begins. As of now we are still searching, but along this journey of searching of course Erik finds something he can't live without.

Daddy's new amp, and the first addition to our future band room!!!

Of course it was such an AMAZING DEAL, he couldn't pass it up!!! To be fair we did have to sell his amp before we left VA, and poor guy has been working so much, he more than deserves it. He is so cute when he gets behind that guitar, the little boy in him comes out. The kids could not have been more excited to hear daddy on his guitar, with of course the amp turned up way to loud.

I fell in love with him watching him behind his guitar.

Thats me peeking in behind the door

This was the first concert of Erik's I went to, we were not dating yet. We had gone to homecoming, but not together. I went with Britton the drummer in the band. It was a blind date that Erik had set us up on because he liked me at the time, but already had a date. It was his way of keeping an eye on me.

I am the one in the bright purple jacket. In this first picture I am laying on the couch to the right. He of course is the guy making the funny face.

I am easy to spot in the second picture. He is the guy in the shades up front!! Oh my
goodness he looks so young!






Most of our dating days I was in competition with this guy SKA band, but I have great memories of those days. "Off the Subject" is a big part of our growing up together.

Crazy bunch of boys!!

Such fun music!!! This was a wedding they did one time!

They are great guys, we just played tug of war with Erik!!

For Erik's senior project he marketed the band and sold tapes at his concerts. This was the cover. My kids don't even know what tapes are!!!

This is me the groupie!!! I think I was 15 in this pic!! This was at an outdoor concert in the summertime!!

See we even went to prom dressed in checkers in support of SKA!!! Look at us, we were just babies! Erik being silly of course!!!

I love us!!!


For those of you who don't know what the heck SKA is, here are some samples



Rancid- Time bomb


Or

Reel Big Fish- Sell Out

To this day my heart gets all twiterpatted when I watch him play. In fact I used to tell him that I had to close my eyes when he led worship at church, because he was such a huge distraction for me. He is so cute when he plays that guitar, love him!!! Hopefully someday he can get some guys together and start another band!!

My attempt to join him in music was very short lived. This was my first and last guitar. I did learn a few songs, but again I am tone deaf. I had to let the desire, of being his musical counterpart, die!!

Hopefully he will be able to jam with his kids.

Infant Abby smiling as daddy plays his guitar. Look at all the hair that girl had. What a cutie!!

So I guess our workout room with be turned into the workout room/band room in the future. I am in complete support, just so long as we sound proof it!!!

Mommy I love you

Being a Mommy is the best job in the world. I am so thankful each day that God has given me four beautiful healthy children, and that I get the blessing of being with them everyday. Sure there are tough days and days I don't know if the stress level can get any higher, but the reward is irreplaceable. The sweet little hug, the cute phrases they say, the "Mommy I love you's." When they say "Mommy you're the best." Those moments are what make my job #1. These little people in my life can make me feel like the greatest person on earth!

We snapped this real quick with the camera timer before we headed to church this morning, not bad!

I woke up this morning to a mountain of homeade cards, wrapped presents (things they found around the house), and my sweet Jonathan, (my early riser) came in my room and and rubbed my back to wake me up (he knows how to bless his mom). My heart could not be more full just seeing how much these guys want to make my day special, love them more than life!!!

This is a book that Abby made me in school, it is just the cutest thing!!

Another cute card that Abby made me in school!!!

The girls with their gifts!!

I also got a special package in the mail the other day. At first I called her and got upset because it's just not right to send me flowers. It's mothers day for goodness sake, I send YOU flowers, thats how it works. I did send my beautiful Mommy flowers, but she wasn't supposed to send some this way, crazy girl!!! But they did make my day!! Daisies are my favorite flower, they make me smile.

The one person that was maybe even more excited than me was Jonathan. I have never been a flowers girl, always to frugal and always thought what a waste of money. But my tastes have changed and now I just love having fresh flowers on my table, they make me feel happy!! I have been keeping flowers in the house and I havn't had them for about a week or two. Jonathan asked me almost everyday, "Mom when are you going to get flowers?" He looks at the empty vase and then walks away sad when I tell him,"someday when we make it to the store." So when I opened the box, the smile on his face and the joy that that box brought him was so hilarious. He even jumped up and down and then said, "now Mom don't kill them." I am glad they bring him joy like they do me!!

Thank you Mommy for blessing me, and buddy!

This gave me a good cry this morning!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mommies!!!!!!!!!

Forgiveness

I never thought I would have trouble forgiving someone. I have always had the ability to say I am sorry and also to accept an apology. This is the first time in my life that I am troubled by unforgiveness. This is the first time that a circumstance struck such the wrong cord with me that I just can't let it go. It's a whole different story when you are hurt by someone and they don't have the ability to say I'm sorry.

This instance happened quite awhile ago but for some reason I still can't shake it. Just when I think I have gotten over it, I am reminded of the situation in some way and all these feelings of hurt, bitterness, and unforgiveness come creeping back into my heart.

I bring this up because of a recent bible study that I attended. I have been going to this bible study for quite awhile, and this particular day I did not want to go. It was a beautiful day outside and I was more drawn to the idea of playing outside with the kids and enjoying the sunshine. I ended up going, and now I know I was supposed to be there.

We are studying Genesis and this day we were talking about Joseph. Genesis 45-46 is the story of when Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, the brothers that sold him into slavery. There was a famine in the land and because of Gods hand in Josephs life and his ability to interpret Pharaohs dreams, he had stored up food to preserve them through the famine. Joseph was made governor over Egypt and his brothers came to find food and ask him for help, not knowing who he was. In his position of power he could have done whatever he wanted to these brothers that betrayed him, instead he says three times to them in this story, "But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life."

That's why I am so shaken up by this, if Joseph can let go of the fact that his brothers threw him in a pit, sold him, and told his dad he was dead, I should be able to let my issue go.

I know I needed to be there during this talk, but during it and even now I somewhat wish I hadn't gone. I now have to confront this uneasiness I have in my heart. In someways it would be a lot easier to hang on and harbor this issue rather than deal with it. Forgiving someone that has hurt you is a battle that is not fun to fight. But a battle that is beginning within me.

The ironic thing is the woman teaching the bible study, and the one God was using to speak to me, reminds me and has always reminded me of this particular person I am struggling to forgive. They even have the same name, not kidding!! This is probably one reason I never enjoy listening to her teach, she has always irritated me a little because of this comparison. Funny how God works!!!

In the beginning my attitude towards this whole thing was that I didn't want to forgive her, I didn't want to have a reason to let this go. I wanted to not like her and keep this bitterness in my heart, it felt good. It only felt good for awhile and now, not so much. I know that for me this journey of learning how to forgive someone, in a way I have never been confronted with before, has begun. I am being tested in an area I never new I was weak in, but I am so weak.

Lord my prayer is that you would help me to let this go and teach me how to forgive. You forgive us no matter what and I want to be able to forgive this person that has wronged me, because I know you already have. Teach me how to love those that are the hardest to love, teach me how to love like You!

Colossians 3:12-14- Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Are you harboring something that you need to let go? Have you forgiven someone who has wronged you and now feel the freedom of forgiveness?

Yogi came by last night

We were naughty and didn't do what we were told, we left our picnic basket outside.

Erik had gone to bed and I was up watching "What I like about you." I was enjoying a wonderful cup of Hazelnut coffee, decaf of course, and I heard this noise. Now anyone that knows me knows I am a huge scaredycat. Then this noise became a loud bang. Of course at first I thought the worst, burglar. But for some reason I didn't get up, just sat there, probably realized in my subconscious of course it's not a burglar. Then a few seconds later a louder bang and I new it was the sound of our garbage can. Then of course it clicked, an animal, duh!!

So I get up to check it out, I turned on the front light and could not believe what I was seeing. A huge black bear trying to open up our garbage can. I was a bit in shock but then realized the front door was unlocked. I don't know if bears can open doors but in that moment it seamed like the right thing to do. As I was walking closer to the door, Mr. bear and I met eyes, he was staring right at me, and then as I was walking closer to the door he decided to come up the steps onto the landing. I quickly locked the door and then just stared at him in amazement. He then put his nose against the glass window as if to say, "Hi, I'm hungry, do you have any leftovers, can I come in for awhile?" This was a crazy moment and even though he couldn't get in, it scared me having this massive animal just outside my window, hungry!!!

I then ran into the bedroom and yelled, "Erik get out here now." In a groggy panicked voice he responded, "what's wrong, what, what's going on?" I screamed, "we have a bear at our door, get up!" We both run to the front door and just stand in amazement, what the heck, there is a bear three feet away starring at us. He kept looking at us as if to say, "what, I was here first, this is my home, what are you looking at?"

Then Erik decides that we need to bring the garbage can in the garage, so we don't have garbage everywhere in the morning. Well good idea and good luck with that!!! If I was all by myself, Mr. Bear would be enjoying himself a nice dinner! Well we worked as a team. After Mr. bear rounded the corner, I kept watch as Erik braved the night. What a rush, I kept yelling, "please don't die, please don't die!" He was brave but I know he was shaking inside. I have never seen him yank a heavy garbage can over his head so fast!!

In all the panic and craziness, I did get a few good pictures, but guess what, no memory card. I know I was so bummed!! After I realized I didn't have a memory card and rushed to get it in, I did snap this one of him leaving, so we at least have evidence in the form of his big black behind!! I have a feeling he will be back and I will be ready to take his portrait!!!

And just think I was going to bbq late last night, I asked Erik to pick up steaks on his way home so we could bbq after the kids went to bed. Mr. Bear would of really liked that, fresh hot steaks. We are thinking of getting a lock for our deck gate. Could you imagine, me outside grilling and Mr. Bear comes around the corner!!! I will not be going outside after dark anytime soon. After this Erik wants another gun!!!

I asked Erik to open the door real quick so I could get a good picture, brave I know!!! But it was a mistake because it scared Mr. Bear!

Black Blog?

I spent many hours looking at free blog templates online, but of course just ended up going with the simple one that BlogSpot provides. Why a black blog? Well I do like the color black. I have black couches,

a black dining room table, black countertops,

and black and white pictures all over my house.

Wearing black made me feel less fat when I was 9 months pregnant and 60 lbs heavier, and even currently I have a good selection of black that I like to wear.

Yes my closet is color coordinated thanks to my mom. I to have the gift of OCD and I get it from her,

but that's not why.

I chose black because I like taking pictures. Pictures look good displayed on black, just like diamonds do!!!

Here are some pictures I took of the kids the other night!! You are probably going to get sick of seeing pictures of my kids but hey they are the easiest subjects to practice on, and for now they don't mind!!!

love that face

sweet boy

brothers

buddies for life

matty was to busy to join the group

different personalities

whatever it takes i will get up this tree

watch out here they come

see my booboo

see my pine cones

i love jon's face in this one

you are witnessing the transformation of the hulk

sweet ella bella

love them

Childlike Faith

Today my plan was to go to church. Instead the kids and I piled in the car and drove to Denver, but it will be a drive I will never forget!!

As usual we were rockin out to Hannah Montana, making our way down the mountain. I hear Abby in the back ask me, " mom why are you talking to yourself?" I respond with, "sometimes mommy does that to clear her head." We all giggled, glad I can simply amuse them, for now!

It was quiet in the car because the music was turned off. The next question from Abby comes, " mom when we get to heaven do we get new bodies and a new name?" I don't know why I was shocked when she said that, I know she is a smart girl, but I didn't remember talking to her about it before. It pleasantly surprised me. I asked her where she had heard it and she said a friend had told her.

I love how God works. When I fail as a parent, feeling like she should be hearing that from me and not a friend, He gives me this amazing opportunity to share salvation with my kids. This moment didn't happen because I sat down and had my agenda to share the gospel with them when I saw fit, but He knew when their hearts would be ready and gave them the questions to ask. It wasn't because when I left the house today I had it on my mind to bring up heaven in the car, but it was because He is good and knows what his children need in the moment they need it.

So then the questions start pouring in, from all over the car. What does heaven look like? Why do we have to die? Is Jesus still on the cross? You mean He never sinned? When do we go to heaven? Even Matty pipes up every once an awhile and says something, no one knows what he is saying, but he feels included!!! We talked the whole way down to Denver. I had this amazing opportunity to share with my kids how God loved us so much that he died for us, so we could be free from sin and live forever with him in eternity. I explained that if they accept Jesus and believed in what He did for them that they would be saved, and live with him forever. Abby says,"well that's easy, of course I believe!" Then Ella says, "yeah, I believe too!" So simple, so easy, if only everyone could have that childlike faith!!!

Matthew 18:2-3 (Jesus is talking to his disciples) Then Jesus called a little child to Him , set him in the midst of them, and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven."

Romans 10:9-10 if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

It took me a minute to realize what had just happened, but after it became clear that my girls had just confessed their faith in Jesus, my heart could not have been more full!!!

As a mom nothing could ever top this moment!!

Ella then say's,"mom do you think there will be enough room on Jesus' lap for me when I get to heaven, because I really want to sit on His lap, and eat dinner with Him too?"

The angels are rejoicing today!!!

Luke 15:10